Disney Movies- Inside Out: Feeeeeeeelings. Nothing more than feeeeelings....

Where do our emotions come from, anyway? Well, I suppose it depends on whom you ask. If you were to ask a biologist, they'd say something about the complex hormones racing through your body. A psychologist might suggest that your subconscious has something to do with it all. But if you were to ask the folks at Pixar, they'd tell you that your feelings come from tiny people that live in your head.

Meet Joy. Joy lives inside the head of Riley, an 11 year old girl from Minnesota. Riley is a pretty happy girl, all things considered. Joy largely takes credit for that. Since the day Riley was born, Joy has been doing everything in her power to keep Riley perky and positive. Yeah, the other emotions help sometimes. Anger takes over when Riley doesn't get her way. Fear keeps Riley safe. Disgust is responsible for Riley's aversion to broccoli. But they never get to spend much time at the controls because Joy always pops up with a happy thought. And then, there's Sadness. She has a nasty habit of doing horrible things to Riley, like making her cry. Not that she does it on puprpose. It just sort of happens. Joy can't stand for that. So she delegates Sadness to something safer...like reading the manuals for memory storage protocol.

Ah, yes. Riley's memories. Memorieeeeeeees light the corners of my mind. Misty water-colored memorieeeeees... Oh. Erm. Sorry. Where was I? Oh. Right. Riley's memories. Well, whenever something memorable happens in Riley's life, it takes the form of a memory- a brightly colored ball that get stored away in Riley's mind. The color of the ball relates to the emotion connected with it. And the majority of them are "Joy yellow". When a particularly important memory is made, it becomes a core memory, stored in the vaults of Headquarters. These core memories are responsible for the Personality Islands that make Riley, well, Riley. Hockey Island, Goofball Island, Friendship Island, Honesty Island, and Family Island are all key parts of who Riley is. And nothing can ever change that.

Or not. How about moving 2,000 miles away to San Francisco? Riley's dad has taken a new job there.  But it's cool. Joy can deal with it. She skillfully navigates Riley through making the most of her dingy new house, her tiny new bedroom, the fact that their moving van got lost, and the local pizza place selling only broccoli pizza (yech!) with a positive attitude. But something's wrong. Sadness just can't seem to keep her hands to herself. Quite by accident, she touches one of Riley's newly formed core memories of her first day at her new school. The ball turns blue. And try as she might, Joy can't seem to change it. But it's not just new memories. Riley's old core memories seem to be succumbing to Sadness's touch, too. In her effort to preserve Riley's happiness, Joy accidentally gets herself, Sadness, and all of Riley's core memories sucked up a pipeline and deposited in the long term storage center of Riley's brain, far away from Headquarters. Without Joy there to man the controls, will Riley ever be happy again?

OK, can I just say... I LOVE this movie. I about near cried like 3 times. Once again, Pixar presents an absurd-sounding premise for a film (a gourmet chef rat, a fish lost in the ocean, no less than three separate movies about toys, and now, feelings), and not only make it work, they make it excellent. There is so much going on that's right with this movie that I hardly know where to begin. I'm sure psych majors would have a veritable field day with it.

Joy's quest to make Riley perpetually happy is, on the surface, a noble one. After all, it falls perfectly in line with the Disney philosophy. "Happiest place on earth." "Dreams come true." "Happily ever after." But for Riley herself, or anyone for that matter, that approach is unhealthy. Yes, it's good to look on the bright side of things. But it's also important to realize that God created us as fully human, with a wide range of emotions. And all of them need to be dealt with. Including sadness. But we'll come back to that.

While Joy and Sadness are trying to navigate their way back to Headquarters, Disgust, Anger, and Fear are trying to hold down the fort. And they're failing miserably. Riley's inability to work through her emotions has begun to render her unable to feel anything at all. Apathy takes over. And apathy is a dangerous, dangerous thing. Without her core memories, Riley's islands of personality begin to collapse. So Anger decides to give Riley an idea. Since all her happy core memories were made in Minnesota, maybe it's time for Riley to go back there. But since mom and dad likely wouldn't be willing to pack up and move back again, Riley's going back alone. She steals her mother's credit card and buys a one way bus ticket home. It's certainly a situation that warrants a parent/child discussion if you're watching this movie with your little ones.

When Joy is forced to make a choice between Riley's happiness and abandoning Sadness, she chooses unwisely. That choice causes Sadness to spiral into all out depression and leaves Joy stranded in the memory dump, soon to be erased forever. Stuck in there with her is Bing Bong, Riley's childhood imaginary friend.

Since Riley has grown beyond the need for such things, Bing Bong is something of a hobo, wandering around the recesses of Riley's mind. He occasionally visits her memories, probably to relive all the fun times they had. In some ways, he was kind of like Joy on steroids. All he ever wanted was to make Riley happy. To "take her to the moon". And while his saccharine Prozac-like happiness is almost grating, it's a reminder of what people who force themselves into a state of denial can be like. They're exuberantly joyful to the point that even they no longer believe it. But beneath his cotton candy exterior (and yes, I mean that literally), Bing Bong has a good heart. And when he realizes that the only way for Joy to save Riley is to sacrifice himself, he cheerfully accepts his fate. As long as Riley is happy, that's all that matters. It's one of the scenes that pushed me to tears.

Ah, Bing Bong. We hardly knew ye.

Down in the dumps (quite literally), Joy revisits one of Riley's core memories: her being cheered by her parents and hockey team. It's perhaps one of her most cherished memories. But as Joy rewinds the memory back even further, the ball changes from gold to blue. Seems Riley's team lost that game. It was only after the defeat that her parents and team rallied to cheer her up. And so Joy learns, often times the memories we hold most dear have a twinge of sadness to them. Indeed, one cannot truly appreciate joy unless one has also experienced pain. And as we mature, we recognize that emotions aren't quite so solitary. Many of our life experiences are filled with multiple emotions at once.

From a personal standpoint, I can tell you this is true. The day I became a mother was one of great joy. But it was also tainted with fear. The moment that child was placed in my arms, my whole world changed. And that can be a very frightening thing. The day my grandmother died was certainly one of sadness. But there were also hints of joy. I knew that she was no longer suffering and was in the arms of Jesus. Our lives are too complex to only experience one emotion all the time, or even one emotion at a time.

When Joy finally reunites with Sadness and manages to get them both back to Headquarters, you'd expect Joy to be the one to save the day. But you'd be wrong. Joy knows that this time, she needs to hang back. Sadness needs to take the controls. When she finally does, it wakes Riley up from her apathy. She begs the bus driver to stop and races home to her parents, who have been searching frantically for her. As they embrace their daughter, she confesses everything. She misses her home. Her friends. Her old life. And then, she breaks down. All the pain and sadness that Joy had been repressing comes flooding out as if from a broken dam. Mom and Dad confess that they, too, miss home. That this whole situation has been difficult on them all. And that feeling sad when we lose a part of our lives is ok. Better than ok. It's good. Losses, changes, disappointments can and should be grieved.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Disney is actually telling kids that being happy all the time isn't healthy. I never thought I would say those words. But there they are. In an era where we medicate ourselves en masse to avoid feeling sad, Inside Out is telling us that we should embrace sadness. That we should embrace all of our feelings. It's very validating in a way. As a matter of fact, it's downright biblical.

Most parents have heard the 60s folk song by The Byrds called "Turn, Turn, Turn". If you haven't, I've included a video.

But this isn't just some hippie protest song. It's scripture. It's pulled almost verbatim from Ecclesiastes 3:

¹  There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

(Emphasis added)

God made us human. He made us in His image. And as God has a full range of emotions, so do we. They make us a complete person, and we need to experience all of them in moderation.

After Riley's breakdown and talk with her parents, a new core memory is formed. And this little ball is multicolored. A little sadness. A little joy. Her emotions are maturing. And so is she. Eventually, she adjusts to the move, finds her joy again, even joins the local hockey team. It seems everything has changed for the better. Everyone gets an equal chance at the controls. A new console gets installed at Headquarters that helps create these multifaceted feelings. And Joy? Well, she's living the life of Riley. (See what I did there?) Yes. It seems that once again, all is right with the world.

Oh. I wonder what happens when you press that shiny new button marked "puberty"...

Disney Films: Pocahontas- I hope you don't like history

Or logic. Because there isn't much of either in this film. All in all it's not a bad film. It just doesn't live up to its predecessors in the Disney Renaissance. So, let's discuss the film that was considered the beginning of the end of the golden age of Disney Studios:

Oh, also, be forewarned:

As I said in the subtitle, I seriously hope you don't like history. The plot itself is based on a tale told by the real John Smith, who was, for all intents and purposes, notorious for telling exaggerations and sometimes straight-up fiction. The beginning of the film is somewhat historically accurate. The opening scene and accompanying narrative song give exposition on the brave adventurers (or mercenaries, depending on how you look at it) of the Virginia Company in 1607, sailing for glory, God, and gold (not necessarily in that order). The crew is led by Governor Ratcliffe (who actually existed and was nothing at all like he was portrayed in the film. More information about him can be found here.) and joined by rock star of his day, Captain John Smith (who also actually existed and was also very much unlike his film portrayal. More information about him can be found here). Along for the ride is young Thomas, who isn't vitally important to this story until close to the end, so we won't focus on him much. To say he's not cut out for adventuring would be a gross understatement. That's really all you need to know about him.

Most of the historical accuracy ends here. And we haven't even seen the title card yet. We cut to scenes of the Powhatan Indians singing a rather native-sounding song. I can't verify how accurate it actually is, since Eisner (then-head of Disney) refused to let actual Native Americans collaborate on the film at all. We eventually run into the titular character herself. Pocahontas, the real one I mean, was probably about 10 or 11 years old in 1607, and, based on the one engraving we have of the woman, she wasn't quite what one would call attractive:

What Not to Wear, 17th Century edition

Then again, with that ridiculous outfit she's wearing, anyone would look horrid. I'm sure in her native clothes, she was probably half-way decent if not pretty. No, what we see in the film is a rather lithe, buxom 18-year-old woman with an Asian face and a Caucasian body. But at least she looks good standing on ledges and stuff.

So, you know the story. White people show up, misunderstandings ensue, both sides are cautious of one another. It's only a matter of time before handsome hero meets winsome princess. And if the title card is where the historical accuracy stops, then this is pretty much where the logic stops. Very little that happens from here on out makes much sense. Actually, most of it isn't even possible. Pocahontas, by listening to her heart, is able to learn English. She doesn't even have an accent. Man, it's a good thing that doesn't actually work. Rosetta Stone would go out of business. As if that wasn't weird enough, apparently, you can learn a language by osmosis, because the rest of her tribe is apparently able to speak English, too. Don't believe me? Check out Powhatan chatting it up with the new neighbors (skip to the 2:00 mark):

Yeah. Magic English. Go fig. It's not the last time he does it, either. He also thanks John Smith at the end of the film. Then again, I guess magic isn't too far fetched in this movie. How else do you end up with talking trees (weeping willows, no less, which aren't even native to North America) and neon pink leaves? Not to mention, the coast Virginia has now moved inland a couple hundred miles. Because that's how far away the mountains are. So, I guess you'll just have to suspend your disbelief for this one a little more than usual.

Now, I know I've picked on this movie a lot so far. And I've had a lot of good reason to. But I by no means dislike this movie. Because if there's one thing this movie has going for it, it's the music. Howard Ashman may have died before he got to work on it, but that doesn't change the fact that this is some of long-time co-writer Alan Menkin's best work. While the lyrics do invoke a little native spiritualism (I know every rock and tree and creature/Has a life, has a spirit, has a name) it's pretty easy to navigate around. Whether it's jaunty chorus numbers like "Mine Mine Mine", Academy Award winner "Colors of the Wind", or intense battle march "Savages", the music in this film is truly something to behold. A lot of people at the time got incensed with the lyrics to "Savages" because they portrayed a lot of racism. I have no problem with the song because the entire film is portraying the dangers or racism. Of course they'd have a song about racism in it. How can you show two groups overcoming prejudice, if you don't show the prejudice in the first place? Kinda lessens the impact of the moral, doesn't it?

Perhaps the best song in the entire film, though, is the one that never made it. "If I Never Knew You", the love ballad between Smith and Pocahontas is simply gorgeous. Mel Gibson (voice of John Smith) even does his own singing. And surprise of surprises, it's not half bad. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it's actually good. Not as good as Broadway veteran Judy Khun (singing voice of Pocahontas) but still pretty good. The song was cut for time, and because children in test audiences found it boring. But it's a real shame because the actual theme of the song shows up in several places in the score despite the fact that it was cut. Fortunately, a special edition DVD was released a few years ago that restores the song (and it's reprise) to its original position in the film. If you don't have the special edition DVD, you can check out this clip:

The reprise (the animation for which is a little awkward) can be found below as well. Awkward animation aside, though, having the reprise gives the ending an extra punch of emotion. Growing up, I probably would have liked this movie a lot more if they'd left these two scenes intact.

Wow. Now that's an ending to a movie. Arguably one of the greatest in the Disney canon. (It's still not Beauty and the Beast...but I'm biased.) If there's one other thing this movie has going for it, it's definitely the ending. And not just because of the music. It's not your typical Disney ending. The "princess" doesn't get what she wants in the end. Ariel wanted to be part of Eric's world. She got it. Belle wanted adventure. She got it. Pocahontas? She stays behind to keep two nervous factions from breaking out into all-out war and lets the man she loves sail away to a far-off land, in all likelihood never to see him again* (until the sequel, anyway). I get the feeling she didn't start out looking for a difficult job with multiple people's lives depending on her diplomatic prowess. But that's ultimately what she ended up with. I give kudos to Disney for being bold enough to break away from their "happily ever after" formula and try something unexpected. It's one of the most touching, poignant, and mature endings to a Disney film. This is probably why adults tend to like the film a bit more than children do.

Love it or hate it, this movie isn't all bad. Yeah, it has its flaws, but it also has its positive points. When it's bad, it's really bad. When it's good, it's really good. It's just one of those movies you just have to take at face value. It did spawn a direct-to-video sequel (as did practically every Disney animated film in the 90s) which I'll review on its own merits another time.

I will say this, though. While Disney cut out parts of Pocahontas to make it more appealing to children, it seems their next film was targeted almost entirely at adults, with no concern for what kids would think of it at all.

*It's worth noting that the real John Smith was sent back to England to receive treatment for a powder burn he sustained, but that wasn't until 1609, two years after his arrival in Jamestown. And once back in England, he never set foot in Virginia again. He did sail to a few other parts of the North American coast, however, so it's not like he retired or anything.

Take Two: Sabrina

Is it just me? Or does every other movie these days seem to be a remake?

Is a remake always a bad thing? Are there instances where the remake is good, or even (dare I  suggest) better than the original? Or are they simply a sign that the writers in Hollywood have lost all sense of originality and have some sadist need to pile dog droppings all over your favorite flicks? Are some films sacred ground, that are so perfect in every way that a remake would just be an insult?

Never one to shy away from a challenge, I intend to plumb the depths of movie remakes in a new segment I like to call "Take Two!".

Today's remake review: a classic Cinderella tale of unrequited love, growing up, and, um... social classism?

The Plot:

Since the plot is roughly the same for both films (not a complete rewrite, as some remakes are), I'll sum up the plot here noting the differences before I start comparing what I like and dislike about each film. Sabrina Fairchild is the daughter of the chauffeur of the Larrabee family, an old money clan living in a large mansion on the North Shore. The family consists of mother Maude and two sons: Linus (the more business-minded brother and CEO of the Fortune 500 family business) and David (the flighty playboy). The original also includes father Oliver Larrabee, but he was written out of the remake (largely because he did very little to advance the plot). Sabrina has been in love with David from time immemorial, but he's so busy with his fling of the week that he doesn't notice she exists. Sabrina takes the opportunity to get away to Paris (for cooking school in the original and a Vogue internship in the remake). There she meets some wise friends who help turn her into a sophisticated socialite and Sabrina returns home, almost immediately catching the eye of David.

There's a problem, though. In her absence, David has become engaged to Elizabeth Tyson, whose father just so happens to own a company that Linus would love to merge with. It's a match made in corporate heaven that would land the Larrabee Corporation millions. And Sabrina turning David's head puts both unions in serious jeopardy. Linus isn't about to stand for that. At first, he makes veiled attempts to pay her off. But she proves to be a woman who can't be bought. Then, Linus changes tactics. If she's determined to love a Larrabee, he's going to make sure she falls in love with the one who will do the least amount of damage. So he begins to seduce Sabrina. He has no intentions of staying with her, of course. But that's a necessary evil if Linus wants to preserve the greatest business deal of his career.

Will Sabrina be turned on by the charms of the cold, calculating businessman? Will David abandon his fiancee for the chauffeur's daughter? Will Linus lose out on a multi-million dollar merger, especially when he starts falling in love with Sabrina for real?

If you haven't seen either of the films, I suggest you stop reading here, because spoilers are ahead. Ye be warned!

The Original

The Good:

The original has a lot going for it. It was based on a rather popular Broadway play called "Sabrina Fair". Having the gorgeous and ever-classy Audrey Hepburn as the elegant and sophisticated Sabrina is a major plus. There's wit and humor, particularly on the part of father Oliver Larrabee (played by stage actor Walter Hampden as one of the last performances before his death), who just wants his boys to be sensible and marry within their class like they're supposed to. He's not bitter about the classism. It's just the way things are done and he's a man too old to be pushed far out of his comfort zone by newfangled ideas. John Williams shines as Thomas Fairchild, Sabrina's loving but cautious father. The scene of Linus rescuing Sabrina from a failed suicide attempt does help hint at a future relationship. Overall, it's a sweet film that doesn't overstay its welcome.

The Bad:

The opening narration by Hepburn is clunky and monotone. Humphrey Bogart's performance as Linus is one-dimensional and forced. Bill Holden's David is neither charming nor dashing, and I find myself wondering why Sabrina is interested in him to start with. The fact that he goes through several marriages in the original and only "relationships" in the remake says a lot about his character in this version. An odd thing, considering marriage was considered much more sacred in the 50s than in the 90s. We spend very little time seeing Sabrina's transformation from awkward shy chauffeur's daughter to elegant debutante, and so don't get too attached to her journey.

The Ugly:

Perhaps my most irritating problem with the movie is the fact that it ends on a very simple note. After all the lies, betrayal, and manipulation, Linus and Sabrina just sail away together to Paris without so much as an apology. Look, I know "love means never having to say you're sorry" (yes, I know, wrong movie) but come on! If it were me, I'd expect at least some acknowledgement that deceiving a woman just so you can make a ton of money was a bad idea. But no. Linus just strolls into frame, they embrace, fade to black. Ugh. Makes me nuts.

The Remake

The Good:

If there was a lot going for the original, there's ten times more going for the remake. Directed by Sydney Pollack of all people, this PG rated romance is big on charm, wit, and warmth. Harrison Ford kills it as Linus. He has all the emotion and expression that Bogart lacked in his performance. Greg Kinnear pulls off a believable David. Certainly a much better performance than Holden's. He's a dashing, yet immature man-child playboy who has a severe commitment phobia. I may have liked the performance a bit more if Kinnear were a tiny bit...better looking, but if I had to choose between eye candy that can't act and this "adorkable" performance, I'd rather have Kinnear any day.

The subplot relationship between Thomas Fairchild and Joanna the housekeeper is sweet but not distracting. The upgraded status of Mrs. MacCardle, or "Mack", Linus's longsuffering secretary is a welcome one. She almost acts as a barometer for Linus's emotional transformation because she knew what he was like before Sabrina. A lot more time is spent on Sabrina's time in Paris and it becomes obvious why she's so in love with the place and the people there. Her relationship with her supervisor at Vogue, Irene, is one of mentoring and maturing. Truly, it is Irene that turns Sabrina from wallflower to rose blossom. Julia Ormond's Sabrina is sweet and gentle. She lacks some of the refinement of Hepburn's performance, but in her defense it's hard to go against the queen of class. Had you never seen the original, you'd never know the difference.

For me, though, it's the payoff at the end that makes the whole movie totally worth it. The final scene of Linus and Sabrina in Paris just sells the whole romance, and the book-end narration was the perfect touch. I couldn't think of a better way to end such a great film.

The Bad:

Not much, actually. I did miss father Oliver's presence in the story line (he was killed off in the opening monologue), but maybe because of the humor injected elsewhere in the story, his role may have been redundant, as he was almost entirely comic relief. I'd also have liked to have seen a bit more of Linus's background. The original tried to paint him as a suicidal depressive, which was a bit off-putting, but at least they explained why he never settled down. Linus's excuse for being single in the remake was that he was too busy, which, given the 90s setting when multi-billion dollar CEOs manage to find a wife and a mistress, seems a bit flimsy. But that's probably just me subconsciously trying to spend more time watching Harrison Ford.

The Ugly:

Conclusion:

I think it's safe to say that in this case, remakes aren't always a bad thing. I'd rather watch the Sydney Pollack version any day of the week. The writing is great, the performances are out of this world, even the music is amazing. While I will forever love both Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart for their various other films, in my heart, there is only one Linus and Sabrina.

Media Mom After Dark: Arsenic and Old Lace

Looking for a good popcorn flick this Halloween? Then have I got the film for you! Consider if you will:

A newly married man is attempting to leave on his honeymoon, but first must return home and face his family. From the outside, they seem like sweet, decent people. But they harbor dark secrets.

An insane uncle.

A fugitive murderer brother.

Two spinster serial killer aunts.

And twelve bodies buried in the basement.

Oh and did I mention it's a comedy?

Ah, yes! Arsenic and Old Lace. It's not your typical Halloween film. But it holds a very special place in my heart for several reasons. For one, we performed the play version in school. I was Aunt Abby. Playing a serial killer was never so much fun! Also, I'm just going to come out and say it...

I'm a chicken. Grade A, USDA certified, 100% chicken. I really don't do scary movies. I once made the mistake of watching The Innocents at home by myself. I walked out of the first 5 minutes of The Grudge. There's even episodes of Doctor Who I can't watch again because of the heebie jeebies they give me.

So if I'm watching something on Halloween, you better believe I'm gonna get a laugh or two out of it. And this is by far my favorite film for the job. It's a real Frank Capra classic. A zany romp that will leave you virtually breathless by the end of it, either from the ludicrously fast pacing or just the uncontrollable giggles it induces.

The plot centers around Mortimer Brewster, played by the inimitable Cary Grant. In my opinion, Grant was BORN for this role. His facial expressions and comedic timing couldn't be more perfect. Mortimer is a theater critic by trade, but just a plain old critic all the time. And if there's one thing he doesn't believe in, it's marriage. Until he meets the right girl. Beautiful Elaine Harper, the (quite literal) girl next door has stolen Mortimer's heart. They tie the knot in a court ceremony and Mortimer races home to his two spinster aunts to tell them the good news and pack for his honeymoon. They're sweet old ladies who take in boarders and are pillars of the community.

Sure, they have a brother who thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt. But every family has one crazy, right? 

Quite by accident, Mortimer discovers something in the living room window seat: a dead body. That body, he soon learns, is one of an even dozen. There are eleven more in the basement, all done away with by his aunts, who see nothing whatever wrong with putting lonely old men out of their misery. Now Mortimer suddenly has much bigger problems than getting to Niagara Falls on time. He needs to deal with his obviously insane family, all while keeping his new wife from discovering their dark secrets.

To make matters worse, Mortimer's brother Jonathan has just blown back into town. He's been on a murder spree of his own, and has brought along his plastic surgeon Dr. Einstein (no, not that Einstein) in case he needs to change faces...again. His current face is quite reminiscent of Boris Karloff.

Fun trivia tidbit: Karloff actually played Jonathan in the stage play, making this a serious meta joke. Karloff was unable to do the film due to previous commitments.

Aside from Grant, my second favorite performance in this film has got to be Peter Lorre's Dr. Einstein. I don't think the guy has a single minute of screen time where he isn't saying or doing something that's uproariously hilarious. But that's just my personal opinion.

Still, Grant is clearly the winner in this film. In the midst of dealing with his family's insanity, he's slowly joining them. He starts out as a rational (albeit cynical) sane human being, but that sanity is slowly chipped away piece by piece in his downward spiral into madness. The last scenes of the film will have you rolling, if you aren't already. It's a brilliant performance, and one I think is seriously undervalued in the annals of cinema history.

If you haven't seen it, check your local library for a copy or get the DVD on Amazon. Just be careful what you drink because it will probably be coming out of your nose before it's all over. It's lighthearted, it's funny, it's something even teenagers can watch without much caveat, and in an age where Halloween films almost always mean horror and gore, I'd rather have humor and giggles.

Disney Films: Bambi- Mankind is scum and your children now need therapy. You're welcome.

Oy. I intentionally put off this post for as long as I could. I'm a big Disney fan. I love the majority of the movies. There are some I'm rather ambiguous on. But there are only a handful that I out-and-out despise. This is one of them:

I'm expecting the enormous backlash to start any moment now. But I don't care. I absolutely hate this movie. For several reasons.

First, it's boring. I mean horrendously boring. This is basically nothing more than an animated nature documentary. If I wanted to watch a nature documentary, I would, oh, I dunno...watch an actual nature documentary! Nature all by itself is pretty interesting. There's no need to make it animated and cutesy. But even as far as nature documentaries go, this one is dull. Baby deer is born, baby deer loses mother, baby deer makes animal friends, baby deer grows up, battles alpha male for attentions of female, and evades danger. The. End. Meerkat Manor had more drama and action than this!

Second, there's the whole "traumatizing an entire generation of young psyches" thing. Now, a lot of children flipped out when Bambi's mom got shot (and I'm not posting a spoilers warning because EVERYONE already knows this). Heck, I'll admit that even as a kid, it troubled me a little bit (mostly because the sound of the gunshot woke me up from my nap, but I'm sure I felt a little twinge of sympathy...somewhere). It's a sad, poignant moment in the life of our hero, but it was still a pretty big deal, especially back in a culture that didn't show dramatic violence to children. Kids were used to slap-stick violence, Tom and Jerry or Three Stooges style. People got hurt. But people never died. For that to happen in a kids' movie back then was a huge deal. Almost as big a deal as it was in Snow White when the heroine was poisoned. But unlike that first film, there would be no happy last-second rescue from death for Bambi's mom.

The entire thing has become so ingrained in popular culture that it's now lambasted and lampooned. Like this clip from Animaniacs:

Cracks me up every time. A lot of people get mad at this. They think that parodies like this cheapen the severity of the scene in the original film. And they're right. But do you know what else cheapens the severity of the scene in the original film? The very next scene in the original film! Just like in Dumbo, where the extremely poignant and tender "Baby Mine" was immediately followed by the alcohol-induced cheeriness (or creepiness, depending on your point of view) of "Pink Elephants", the extremely tender poignant death scene in Bambi is immediately followed by happy singing birds who are obviously on Prozac.

Seriously. What kind of emotional whiplash is this? We just witnessed the (in essence) murder of the protagonist's mother, so "Let's Sing A Gay Little Spring Song". (I'm not kidding. That's the actual title of the song.) You would never get away with this in, say, Batman, after the Wayne's are murdered in front of young Bruce. Way to go, Disney. You just cheapened everything touching and intimate about the previous moment. I understand that you don't want kids to linger in the trauma (too late) but you could at least ease back into it a little bit. Show Bambi going through the healing process or something. After this sequence happens, Bambi's mother is never mentioned again. Her death doesn't serve as any sort of motivation, doesn't progress the plot, and only marginally serves as any sort of character development for our hero. So.... why even have that moment at all? I'll tell you why...

Third. Man is evil. And I don't mean this in the Biblical "we're all sinful and in need of a Savior" sort of way. I mean in the environmental "mankind are monsters for killing animals" sort of way. I'm not a huge advocate of sport hunting. I believe if you're gonna kill something, you should eat it. Now, the hunters in this movie are never really even shown in any large capacity. We don't know if Bambi's mom was turned into stew or just had her head mounted on a wall (or both). But regardless, we judge these guys without knowing their motivations. God gave us this planet. He expects us to be good stewards of it. But He also gave us the beasts of the earth for food. I don't know if the hunters in this film were hunting for food. They may have been hunting for sport. The point is, we don't know, but the film paints them in a negative light regardless. If they're not shooting animals, they're burning them with forest fires (that are obviously caused by accident, since they were spread by a strong wind). This movie could have worked as one big PETA/Smokey the Bear PSA. The ultimate message of this film is basically that human beings are dirt bags who murder innocent animals and nothing more. I have many reasons for hating this film. But this is probably one of my biggest. Even Wall-E didn't have this much in-your-face environmentalism. Wall-E made humans look careless and lazy. Bambi made us look downright diabolical.

It's interesting to note that Bambi came out in 1942. Why do I find this interesting? Because it would be another 8 years before Disney had another hit film. Maybe it was because an entire generation of children were so terrified, or an entire generation of parents who had just come through the Depression eating whatever they could catch were so incensed that they just didn't trust Disney with magical storytelling anymore. It wasn't until 1950 that Disney produced Cinderella and returned to their "dreams come true" formula and started endearing themselves to audiences again. In the interim, amidst WWII and a massive animator strike, the studio would produce a lot of weak, relatively plotless films. It was precious time that the studio would never recover. And that's a real shame. Had circumstances been different, who knows what magic the studio might have produced? As it is, his next two projects are nothing more than some animation mixed with vacation footage from Walt's trip to Brazil. But that's another post entirely.

Disney Films: Dumbo- Ummm, what?

*Fair warning. If you like this movie, then I'm about to trample all over your childhood nostalgia like a mad elephant.*

Dumbo. Dumbo, Dumbo, Dumbo. What can I possibly say about this movie? I think the title pretty much says it all:

This movie is dumb. And I mean that in more ways than one. In the traditional sense, Dumbo is dumb because the title character never says so much as a word. He's silent. He's mute, voiceless, dumb.

This in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. I'm a huge fan of silent movies. I love Buster Keaton. I think if done right, it could be pulled off very well. Heck, Disney even made a semi-silent movie less than a decade ago via Pixar and it's one of the most artistically dramatic things I've ever seen.

But we'll talk about him later when he gets his own post.

But in this case, Dumbo's lack of speech is a hindrance. His face doesn't translate expression well and we're left struggling to figure out what he's feeling. Yeah, he's cute and all and that makes us sympathetic, but his lack of development doesn't leave us very empathetic, which I think is a more important attribute for a movie that's trying to touch hearts. If we can't identify with the character's emotions, we can't connect with them.

But my bigger problem is the fact that Dumbo is dumb in the more vulgar sense of the word. This movie makes no sense whatsoever. The plot line, the side characters, the conflict... it's completely illogical and just doesn't seem to fit together very well. At just a hair over an hour long, you'd think Disney's second shortest movie would be pretty simple. A cohesive plot that tells a memorable story. But it was not to be.

The movie starts out with storks delivering baby animals to mommy animals at the circus. Ok. Cute, I guess. One particular lady elephant, Mrs. Jumbo, is anxiously awaiting her own special delivery. (Odd that we're never shown a Mr. Jumbo, but that's just Disney sticking to their "Nuclear families don't create enough conflict" formula, I suppose.) Once the stork delivers the baby to her, the other elephant ladies are shocked to discover Jumbo Jr. has unusually large ears. One might even say freakishly large ears. (Which renders their shock somewhat odd. I thought freaks of nature were practically celebrities at the circus.) Mrs. Jumbo is understandably very protective of Jr., who has been rechristened Dumbo by the other ladies. And this is the last time this movie will ever make sense. The rest of the film basically makes me have this reaction:

When a boy at the circus begins taunting Dumbo for his ears and physically abusing him, Mrs. Jumbo picks the lad up and gives him a well-earned spanking with her trunk. A riot ensues, and Mrs. Jumbo is locked away in quarantine as a "mad elephant". Dumbo struggles with the loss of his mother, befriends a rodent named Timothy Q. Mouse (I guess Jiminy Cricket was busy elsewhere. It wouldn't have mattered. These two are virtually the same character.) and tries to prove himself in the circus during the elephant pyramid stunt. His ears get in the way, the stunt goes horribly wrong, and Dumbo is forced to become a clown. This is where they started to lose me. Elephant clowns...is that a thing now? Wouldn't the circus try to cut their losses and sell him to a petting zoo or something more practical like that? Meh. Anyway. Dumbo achieves some moderate success as a clown, but he's unhappy because every show ends with him falling into a giant cream pie, which I guess is humiliating if you're an elephant. The clowns seem to have no problem with their jobs, though, so it's not as though the circus clowns are the scum of the earth or anything. 

In what may be the most touching scene in Disney history (for a lot of people anyway) Timothy takes Dumbo to visit his mother in quarantine, and a chorus sings a lullaby while Mrs. Jumbo rocks her baby on her trunk (the only part of her that's visible). It's pretty heart-wrenching, and I've no problems with the scene. It's what comes immediately after it. Dumbo cries over his mother and develops a case of hiccups. He drinks some water from a bucket to cure them, unaware that the bucket had a bottle of champagne knocked into it. This, for some unknown reason, allows Dumbo the ability to blow bubbles with his trunk, including, at one point, a cube-shaped bubble, which I think is a pretty marketable skill for a circus elephant, and why Timothy didn't think of going to the ringmaster with that little trick is beyond me. Both characters proceed to get completely wasted, and what follows is one of the most out-of-left-field, completely pointless, "what the actual heck?" moments in cinema history.

The infamous pink elephants sequence is loud, nonsensical, and wild. Since I've never done drugs, I can only imagine that this is something like an acid trip gone horribly, horribly wrong. Pink elephants ride trains, turn plaid, and merge and multiply. They dance around in psychedelic colors, stretch, grow, shrink, and run wild around your screen in a blur of unadulterated chaos. I hate this scene for two reasons. One: it cheapens everything lovely and memorable about the "Baby Mine" sequence by immediately following the extremely touching scene with drunken hallucinations. In a children's movie, no less! And two: it has absolutely nothing to do with anything. It doesn't advance the plot, it doesn't develop character, it doesn't provide any exposition. It's just there, then gone, and no one ever mentions it again for the rest of the movie.

What does this have to do with ANYTHING?!

During Dumbo's alcohol-fueled nightmare, our spunky hero apparently develops the ability to fly, as he wakes up the next morning in a very tall tree. (What he doesn't wake up with is a hangover, but suppose elephants don't get those.)There Dumbo meets some well-drawn 1940s racial stereotypes (who will probably get their own post at some point) in the form of a group of crows. (Technically, a group of crows is called a "murder" but to call them that outright would probably just confuse most people.) They give Dumbo a "magic feather" to give him the confidence he needs to flap his...erm...ears, and fly. This scene really only exists for the sole purpose of providing what I think is the best song in the movie. But that's my personal opinion and I'm biased because it's a song almost entirely made up of puns.

You know the rest. Blah, blah, Dumbo returns to circus, yadda, yadda, gains the confidence to fly without the feather, becomes famous, etc., etc. Somehow, I'm not entirely certain how, this results in Mrs. Jumbo getting out of... elephant jail... Wait... what? I don't... How does.... HUH?!

Even Jackie Chan doesn't understand this.

How does Dumbo becoming a famous circus performer convince people his mother isn't a mad elephant? It has nothing to do with anything! So he can fly, that doesn't make the riot his mother caused not happen. I'm not saying she should have been locked up. She was just protecting her child and the kid got what he deserved. But just because you're famous doesn't mean you don't serve jail time. Then again, this is the same studio responsible for Lindsay Lohan, so... yeah.

Look, I get it. Lots of people like Dumbo. They like the touching scenes, they like cheering for the little guy to come out on top, and they like...circuses, I guess. But if all of that isn't going to be part of a cohesive story, it's kind of pointless. I'm ok with suspension of disbelief, especially in a kids' film. I suspended my disbelief enough to accept the fact that Dumbo's large ears enable him to fly. But to suggest that fame and fortune can get your mother out of prison is pushing logic a bit too far. Those two notions aren't even remotely related. It's like saying if I climb a tree, I might get some toast for breakfast tomorrow. There's no logic connecting those two ideas. I'm not trying to be heartless and cynical. I'm just expecting a reasonable conclusion.

Besides, if this was a really true-to-life story, the circus would never have quarantined Mrs. Jumbo. They'd have put her down right off the bat because they can't make money off of her. In fact, they'd be losing money because they'd still have to feed her. Fortunately, Disney spared the delicate young psyches of children and didn't show the protagonist's mother getting shot dead. Nope. They saved that for their next movie.

Do you need a Moms' Night Out?

Yes. Yes, you do. It doesn't matter if you have kids or not. It doesn't even matter if you're female or not! Because this movie is straight up funny and can (and should!) be enjoyed by pretty much everyone.

Mom of 3 Allyson is starting to feel the strain of family life. She's a bit of a perfectionist, and anyone who's spent more than 5 minutes with a child knows that children and perfection go together about as well as fire and gasoline. But Allyson's determined to do the best she can to have the perfect homeschooled, organic-eating, well-behaved children. She's read all the books! She knows all the techniques! Unfortunately, her kids haven't read any of those books and know nothing of those professional techniques. They only know it's Mother's Day and they want to make Mommy breakfast in bed. The result? Eggs, flour, and orange juice smeared everywhere. Well, what do you expect from 3 preschoolers left to their own devices in the kitchen? Her airline pilot hubby Sean is out of town but should be home to help take care of things soon. So, with her head held high, Allyson is determined to make it through church with her dignity and her sanity somewhat intact.

At church, she meets up with BFF Izzy (whose husband is terrified of children in general and his twin boys in particular) and her solid rock mentor Sondra (the pastor's wife who's struggling to understand both autocorrect and her teenage daughter). After a major meltdown in the ladies room at church, Allyson decides what these three ladies need more than anything is a night away. Away from husbands. Away from household mess. And FAR away from whiny, needy, sloppy, crying, screaming children. A night of glamorous dresses, gourmet delights, and grown-up conversation. So, with the husbands baby-sitting (joined by Kevin, Sean's lifelong best friend and video game buddy who just so happens to hate children) the ladies doll up and head out for the evening. What could possibly go wrong?

"Ladies, tonight is our night and we look good."

Well, you know if nothing went wrong, it wouldn't be much of a movie, would it? So, suffice it to say, EVERYTHING goes wrong. And I mean that in a good way. This is one of the most hilarious movies I've seen in a long time. And not just because this is a "chick flick". It might be a movie about moms, but there's a lot of stuff for guys in here, too. Tattooed bikers. A Shawshank Redemption reference. A high speed car chase. And someone getting Tased. I saw the movie with my hubby, and I seriously think he laughed even harder than I did. The pacing of the comedy was perfect. The "blog post" type narration includes just enough humorous clips and quotes to make it funny without being distracting, and really gives you a look into Allyson's mind.

The movie is also very relatable. I only have one kid, and he's not even a year old yet, but I definitely found myself nodding in agreement with Ally's sentiments. There's a saying floating around the internet that behind every great kid is a mom who's pretty sure she's screwing everything up. It's how Allyson feels, and it's definitely how I've felt on occasion. I don't always feel like I'm the best mom. There are stale Cheerios under my couch. I never remember to take a bib to nursery, so I leave church on Sundays with a slobber-covered baby. I accidentally left a dirty diaper in the diaper bag once. For a week. My house isn't spotless. Heck, it's not even really organized. My hubby is very supportive, but he's also still a guy. He still likes to play video games with his brothers and watch movies with lots of explosions. And the last "night out" I had where I actually dressed up and went out to dinner was my anniversary...last year. The last time I went out with just some girlfriends? Erm. Hmm. A church function...about 5 years ago, maybe? So, yeah. I totally get where Allyson is coming from.

This is my minion. Don't let the cherubic smile fool you. He can be a holy terror when he puts his mind to it.

Under all the comedy, car chases, and chaos, though, is an encouraging message to moms from a very unlikely source. Big bad biker Bones gives Allyson some sage advice: to do the best you can with what God has given you and let go of the illusion of perfection. Sometimes as moms, we get so overwhelmed with the work, the demands, the competition with other moms (don't lie. You know you compare yourself to every other mom on the planet), that we lose sight of what's truly important. Your kids might remember that your house was always clean, and that your makeup was always flawless, and that you made every craft ever posted on Pinterest. But they will definitely remember how much you loved them, mentored them, prayed for them, and invested time in them. And so, I give a word to all you moms out there, or would-be moms, or single ladies, or even guys... heck, anyone who feels like their life is less than perfect. As Sondra says: "Life is about finding the meaning and the joy and the purpose in all the chaos."

Embrace the chaos. Embrace your kids. Embrace the love and grace that God has given you. And take a night out once in a while. Couldn't hurt, right?